✖ 5 types of men on Tinder

✖ 5 types of men on Tinder

• Friday, 3 April 2020

This blog post was highly requested by my cousin after I wrote about being on Tinder and why it isn't for me. No, really, Tinder is definitely not my cup of the tea but I've spent enough time on the app (a week, and then I had enough) so I can share a bit about the type of guys you'll find from there.

It's umm, a place. It's definitely a place. It's a weird place. I was on the app to have my fun and chat easygoing conversations with new people without making them attached to me. To be honest, that was freaking hard, since I'm super funny and adorable. Okay, so this is how I'm being today. Please bear with me.

So here we go, five types of men on Tinder, who I've talked to but never met in person.

✖ the kinky one
Kinky ones are the best in my opinion. Not that I would have any sex preferences, but they make a fun easygoing convo until shit gets too weird even for you. These are the ones you should definitely watch out for. I mean, I didn't meet the kinky one in person but I believe if I had he would've locked me in his basement and kept me there as his pet. Oh, and these ones always without an exception call grown-ass women girls. That really grinds my gears.

✖ the "nothing serious" one
There are two types of these guys. Their bio says they want "nothing serious" which can only mean two types of things: they really don't want anything serious and they're total fuckboys, or they've only put it in their bio so they'll get more matches on the magical app. I've stumbled upon a conversation with both ones. The first one made it very clear that I shouldn't fall in love with him, yeah, like I automatically would - dude, it takes a hell lot more!
The second one simply told me that he wrote it in his bio just to find Tinder easier to use for his purpose, which was finding a girlfriend.

✖ the shady one
The shady ones are full of surprises! They've got this mask they're using when they're on Tinder, where they come across as such wonderful personalities and easygoing, easy to chat about the weather with until you add them on Snapchat.

And this is the dealbreaker for me, I never shared my personal phone number so I still have a few of these hanging on my Snapchat as friends of mine, though not the shady ones - like real people ones. The shady ones, however, they send you nudes.

They're very comfortable in their own skin and when you don't jump in their game and send nudes to them, they remove themselves from your Snapchat as quickly as they got there. And I'm there like "ok baiiii, you idiot!"

But yeah, I've seen a few dicks floating around on my Snapchat. And not just the people, but their actual fucking penises.

✖ the creative one
In a way, I really do love the creative ones. Though they're so fucking full of themselves. Literally, the only thing they ever talk about you are their own creative achievements.

"Hey, I just created a new song."
- "Oh cool, can I hear it?"
"Nah, I'm not too sure will I ever publish it."

"Hey, I just painted one of the coolest paintings I've ever painted."
- "Heyyy fun! Send me a picture, I wanna see?"
"Nah, I'm not too sure if it's finished yet but I'm trying to get into an art exhibition and..."

And it goes on and on and on. Until I tried the same thing and opened the conversation about a painting I had painted. (I never painted any paintings.) And guess what the creative one replies? "Oh, cool." AND THAT'S IT.

✖ the one next door
These guys are safe. They're comfortable. They're umm, boring even. But safe. Comforting. Fun to friendzone.