SLIDER

✖ thoughts about handing in my notice

As I mentioned before, I went in and handed my notice. This week has been the first week in almost five years I haven't had to wake up at 4AM in any morning, and oh well - it's been oddly but not surprisingly refreshing.


✖ starting to feel more energised
To be honest, waking up that early has been taking its toll on me. And combined with school, it's been even more awful. I've felt like I haven't had any time to do anything between school and work, except sleep and it has left me feeling like an awful human being on all aspects of life. All I did was sleep, go to uni, sleep, go to work and repeat. And I have so much more going on in my life, which I haven't been in on 100%.

✖ feeling less socially drained
Considering the fact that I'm sleeping a lot more now and I don't have a place to go to and pretend to be a happy employee anymore, I've been feeling less drained socially. When you have to go to a place to pretend you're something you're not, it's exhausting and I wouldn't want that even for the person I dislike the most. It's draining, and afterwards, you just want to wrap yourself in a blanket in a dark room and be alone for the rest of your life. It took a toll on my relationships, my mental health and well, the fact of how many events I've skipped because of being so exhausted about life.

✖ taking better care of my wellbeing
During this past week, I've been taking better care of my own wellbeing. I've showered more often, I've found some energy to clean around the apartment, and actually keeping it clean. I've done more laundry than I've done these past six months, my skin is in better shape, I haven't felt ill. Small steps, but I'm getting there. Getting back to the stage where I'm less depressed, anxious sleep-deprived zombie and more like just a depressed anxious me. And it's a lot. I'm even brushing my hair.

It's a lot.
And it's the best choice I've ever made.
I saw this quote once:

"If it costs you your mental health, it's not worth it."

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