This blog post was originally written in 3rd of May, 2018 for Little Things With Jassy and I decided to bring it up to date over here at overdosed on caffeine as well because I think it's still relevant as fuck.
Last Thursday, I woke up in the morning and noticed I had a request on my Twitter DM's like I do each morning. Yup, each morning there's always a new request. Either way last Thursday was the day I had enough.
Also, if talking about penises, vaginas or anything sexual disturbs you in any way please stop reading now & move on to something more comfortable for you. Even though I'm okay with everything mentioned above, it doesn't mean everyone else is too - so a little heads up before I start my rant.
Last Thursday I did not receive a picture of a penis. Not only a picture of a penis - the penis was stuffed inside to woman's anus. It was a pretty close up picture of anal sex. It all leaves me confused wondering why. Why would you as a male want to send a picture of anal sex to a woman?
What are you trying to achieve with it?
You see, dick pics I understand. Or
I've learned to understand, as they're usually sent to women when men are trying to boost their ego or grow their self-esteem. Either way, my answer is always
"I've seen bigger ones than that" or
"what's that little trash on my screen?" then following with
"I've reported you, that qualifies as sexual harassment."
In the headline, I referred to
"Dear men" which obviously, doesn't mean that I mean that every single man on this planet is a filthy pig - I don't know all men and yet I happen to know very lovely men in the real life and in the Internet life. So no, not all men, just the filthy pigs who think they can achieve something by sending nasty pictures to women.
I've been thinking about this since last Thursday. Not because I enjoyed what I saw - everyone does what they want in their own bedrooms, but because I've been trying to figure out what they're trying to achieve.
What kind of answer he would have wanted?
Did he want me to answer that
"oh boy, I wish you could do that to me right now" or
"mmm that's good is it yours?" As you see, I don't understand what he was trying to achieve with that. And it disturbs the crap out of me. Like I mentioned above, dick pics are sent because they want to feel proud of their junk. Make themselves feel better by fishing compliments from random women to boost their own self-esteem. But how does a picture of a dick inside an anus fall into the category?
Because it doesn't.
This is something that happens on a daily basis to multiple women. Even for me, I've received 3 dick pics last week plus that one picture of sexual intercourse. And not every woman is like me. Some might feel insanely uncomfortable after a dick landing into their DM's just like I feel anxious on a plane. Yes, dicks are the normal thing in the world but please, keep them in your pants cowboys as nobody doesn't want to see that half standing hot dog sausage in their DM's as a first thing in the morning.
✖ Things to do if you receive a sexual picture from a random dude:
- report them
- block them
- don't lose your sleep because of them
- also, at least that qualifies as sexual harassment in Finland so you can also report them to the police, though depending how much resources they have they probably won't go after a dick pic sender, especially if it's received in anonymous messaging app; at least you have reported it so it goes to the stats
✖ If you're underaged and receive sexual pictures from random men:
- reach out to your parents/or another trusted adult and talk about things if they make you feel uncomfortable
- report them to the app
- block them in the app
- also, consider if that's something that qualifies as sexual harassment in your country & report them to the police (+ all the things I mentioned at my last point above)
The Internet is a place for all the weirdo's around the world. All we can do at this point is to raise our sons to be better than this. Raise them to these grown-up men who really appreciate women, who appreciate themselves and who accepts them as they are. And when they fly out of the nest, trust that everything you've taught to them stays in their minds through the rest of their lives.
And lastly, to the men who do this; stop it for fuck's sake.
Learn to love yourselves. Find some dignity. As for me
(and probably all the other women) you come across as pushy and insecure little boys who are out there seeking acceptance their parents never gave to them. You won't find love unless you love yourself and you definitely do not respect yourself or any women you're sending these pictures out to. That's not the right way to get anywhere in life & that sure as hell isn't the way to get the acceptance you seem so desperately to want.
In reality, only the acceptance you need is that you'll accept yourself. You accept the penis that Mother Nature has given to you and you learn to love yourself just like that. And average boner is around 14cm anyway, so you sure as hell don't need a 50cm stick to be able to please a woman or a man, whatever floats your boat.
Take your time, learn to know yourself, prioritise your values, accept yourself & you'll notice you don't have to send out those pictures to anyone ever again.
I feel like the people who do this, send out the pictures and make women uncomfortable ruin the sex from so many people. Sex isn't meant to be uncomfortable, it's supposed to be something both parties involved enjoy and the most importantly it's something that requires the consent of both parties involved.
Did it ever cross your mind that the woman you're sending your pictures doesn't want to receive them? It's not something that is done with mutual consent. And that's what makes it sexual harassment. It's not okay.
How do you deal with dick pics? Sick of them already?
