✖ oh honey, you don't have to hide that bra

Saturday, 1 February 2020

I work in retail. There are times women come to the cashpoint, throw all the clothes they want to buy on the desk, in a ridiculous pile. I mean, I admit - I am doing the absolute same if I happen to hit my head and go to shopping in person instead online. The thing I've discovered is that most women (not all), tend to hide the underwear they're buying between all the other clothes. They tend to get a bit ashamed if it takes me longer than a few seconds to get the hanger out of the sexiest bra there is in the collection. Let me get one thing straight, ladies:

No matter the size, shape, the model of the bra or any other kind of underwear --

BUY that bra that makes you feel hot as hell.
BUY those thongs, if they're comfortable for you and make you feel good.
BUY that sexy body, if you're feeling yourself good in it.

Treat yourself with proudness, as a wonderful woman you are.

There seems to be a lot of shame when it comes to shopping for underwear as a woman. And to me personally, it feels ridiculous. Although I have to admit that before my breast reduction surgery I was damn ashamed to buy a bra as well. But it always ended up with going to multiple different stores, having yourself measured by multiple different people and being told in every single place that they don't have a cup large enough for me. That, if anything was utterly shameful. For me, personally.

But for fuck's sake women, we live in an era where we are no longer being held between the fist and the stove. There is no one who can tell us what we can and what we cannot wear, and sure as hell, there isn't anyone who can justify telling us what kind of underwear we should be wearing.

If you happen to be lucky enough to stand in that fitting room, try on a bra and actually feel like they're a good fit for you, as that's something not to be taken for granted, and they're something you feel good in, you feel amazing in, you feel sexy in, no one can come and tell you you can't be wearing them.

And if you're wondering what the salesperson at the cashpoint thinks, they most likely won't even remember what kind of underwear you bought after they've packed them in a shopping bag.

✖ hockey snapshots

Friday, 31 January 2020

iPhone camera is surprisingly good, huh?

Pictures: Me
Location: Isomäki Ice Hall, Pori, Finland

✖ 25, the birthday I thought I wouldn't see

Thursday, 30 January 2020

CW: depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, enter at your own risk

I can't stress this enough, Autumn and the beginning of Winter has been extremely tough on me. I've been finding difficult to get a grip on my own life whilst suffocating my own feelings and thoughts with helping others with their own struggles. It got to the point where I was skipping school, stayed in bed the whole day and didn't really manage to go anywhere. Anywhere except work. I'm actually glad I was able to drag myself to work, considering that my will to live had been dropped below zero.

Today is my 25th birthday, the birthday I thought I wouldn't see.

I was certain I wouldn't see my 25th birthday coming. I was in a dark, pitch-black place. I still am, in multiple shades of grey, the shades getting a tiny bit lighter each week. Can't say day, the process of my healing isn't exactly as fast I'd hope it to be. But I am. Healing. I want to heal.

I've always wanted to be 25. I don't really know why, but I've always wanted to be 25.
And it kind of feels good to be 25, now.

Happy birthday to me.
From, me.

✖ snapshots from Tallinn, Estonia

Wednesday, 29 January 2020

My friend and I did a little trip to Tallinn right before Christmas, and we visited such stunning spots in the city. The main reason I wanted to visit Tallinn right before Christmas was to check out their hyped Christmas market. Although, compared to one in Helsinki it was more like a market filled with souvenirs and other not so important crap. It was slightly a disappointment for me, as I expected a bit more after all the hype I've heard about it.

The visit was more than perfect opportunity to get my camera out though, so here are a few pictures from the trip.

Have you ever been disappointed in a lot hyped Christmas market?

✖ my hopes for 2020

Tuesday, 28 January 2020

I'm not going to write about my new year's resolutions. I'm not too sure whether I am willing to keep them or if I'm even ready to keep them. I mean, if changing new fresh bed sheets is something that makes me feel like I have my shit together as a fully functional adult, how on Earth would I actually have my shit together?

So hopes. Hopes = resolutions. Even though I'm not talking about them as resolutions. "Resolutions" as a word, sounds like such a commitment.

And I'm not willing to commit on anything now, just for my own good.

So here we go. Hopes, for 2020.

✖ I hope to keep my plants alive
I've been hoarding plants in my apartment. Fuck, they're as social as I am. They're great listeners. They'll give me the air I breathe and they make my flat look nice. Least I can do to them, is to keep them alive. They're more difficult to keep alive than a child, to be fair. You can't really overwater a toddler or starve it to death without the toddler letting you know immediately when something's not right. Plants let you know, like a week later when they suddenly just die.

✖ I hope to get back to writing
Writing is therapeutic. Writing is something I use to express myself and it has been defining a part of me as long as I can remember. When we got our first PC my most used programs in it was Paint and Microsoft Word. I used to love writing short stories, fuck - I even remember the plot of the book I once was wanting to write. However I'm mostly focusing on academic writing at the moment, with uni going on and stuff but if I want a break from it, I'd really love to get back to blogging.
Blogging has always been fun, and I'm kind of ready to get myself back on the track, to the track I was on with Little Things With Jassy, may it rest in peace.

✖ I hope to learn the handstand properly
I really do want to learn the handstand. It's been something I've been wanting to learn for ages. I've been getting quite good at it but there's still a long way to go.

✖ I hope to find a job in my own field
I mean, working in retail is fun (right? right!?) when you don't want to kill yourself after a ridiculous encounter with a customer but finding a job in my own field would be an absolute goal. I don't usually compare myself to others in anything but while looking at my classmates thrive and succeed in our field it makes me feel like I'm missing out on something. In a way, I'm not finding the proper words to express. Is this FOMO?

✖ I hope to quit smoking
It's a bad habit of mine which has been following me since I was 15. A 10-year-mark would be the perfect moment to quit right? I've quitted once before and it was easy as fuck. Mostly because I was pregnant and determined not to be like mum's who smoke while being pregnant.

✖ I hope to paint more
Painting is something I'm used to doing, as well, to express myself and my feelings. It's also therapeutic, like yoga and writing.

What do you hope for your 2020?
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